


State of Xenogen

by WindwiseWords



Series: Xenogen City [37]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Character(s) Mentioned, Gossip, Implied Injuries, Implied Mech Preg, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Insults, Lack of Setting, Multi, New Format, Original Character(s) mentioned, Politics, Should Have Used Second Person, Starscream being Starscream, State of the Union, Trying to Use Third Person, Xenogen Politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 15:40:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8538715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindwiseWords/pseuds/WindwiseWords
Summary: Starscream is here to bring you political news of Xenogen. Swerve is here to bring you gossip. Rewind records it all, unedited for your 'viewing' pleasure. Of course Starscream has to ruin it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> WHOO I reached 7500 hits! So I did a thing. Kind of sort of sums up what's going on along with what's possibly happening that you may or may not have picked up on. 
> 
> Kind of following the elections, I did a State of the Union of Xenogen address. Why Prime didn't do this: He felt Starscream needed a chance to talk to the human race.  
> Will Starscream do this again: Probably not.  
> Swerve: Has all the gossip.

“Hello, humans. Not usually something I like to do but I’ve decided to discuss some of the more prudent affairs of Xenogen with you fleshy natives.” The seeker paused, glancing toward the door and glaring as a familiar red-and-white bartender slid into the recording room.

“Screamer! It’s _my_ job to inform the humans! Not like you have half the information about Xenogen’s gossip anyways.” Swerve grinned and looked at the camera. “Rewind, bring the focus over here.” The bartender’s friend gave a thumbs up and focused his lens to Swerve.

Starscream hissed and flared his wings, only to sigh and let them sag. “Fine, fine. I’ll cover the actually important information, while you deal with the gossip of who is fragging who and whatnot.” The seeker flicked his hand back and forth dismissively. Best to not argue with Swerve, it only ended in his only drinking spot being taken away. Even if he wasn’t drinking at the time.

Swerve grinned and put his hands on his hips. “Oh that is a list that is longer than Fort Max is tall. But I guess some parings are more important than others. Like you and Skyfire?” Starscream raised a brow; that was hardly gossip. “And your little bitlet on the way? How far along are you, anyways? A month? Already starting to show but that’s what you get for taking a shuttle for a mate.”

Starscream opened his mouth to defend his new curves but Rewind piped in. “Who cares about Screamer’s fake curves when Tailgate is about to pop!” Starscream dropped his defense and nodded in agreement.

“Yes, that minibot has it worse than I do. Then again he is much further along. Medical records indicate he’s just over half cycle.” Starscream flipped through a datapad and nodded confirmation. “I believe that is three mated pairs expecting sparklings in the near future.”

Swerve blinked and tilted his head before making an ‘oh’ and grinning deviously. “That’s right, Wing avoided the bar for the past few weeks and Drift refused to come in for more than a casual talk at lunch.”

Rewind’s jaw would have dropped, if his mask was off. “Really? Primus, a bunch of little Wings and Drifts?” The idea was as adorable as it was terrifying. “Those two made a deadly tag-team. Almost as deadly as Knock Out and Breakdown.”

Starscream grinned, starting to enjoy this gossip. “Oh, you know so little of them.” Starscream looked into the camera, wings fluffing to show off. “They’re more than partners, but you didn’t hear that from me… Not that it isn’t common knowledge who Knock Out takes to his berth. He’s a bit of a… What’s the human word?”

“Slut?” Swerve supplied, and frowned. “Leave him alone about it, yea? I keep up with his pace, _Starscream._ Or did you forget? The only mechs I’ve yet to get into a berth to some extent is Rewind, you, and Optimus Prime himself.”

Rewind giggled as Starscream counted up the mechs that he never thought Swerve could get to, then glared. “Oh yes, Swerve is quite the charmer when he wants to be, Starscream. He’s even gotten Skyfire before, to some extent. But that’s a story for another day. Let’s talk about that little episode of Bluestreak’s in the washracks…”

Swerve burst into laughter. “Oh yea! I totally forgot. So apparently this heat cycle for the grounders ended up forcing Optimus and Prowl together. I always figured he’d go for Ratchet, they’re pretty close.” Swerve put a hand to his chin and thought. “Maybe Ratchet has Evac now.”

“Oh please, the old medic and the young student?” Starscream paused and rethought. “Now that you mention it, perhaps Ratchet is one for robbing the cradle?” A devious cackle; more information Starscream could possibly use against him when Ratchet demanded another null check up.

Rewind growled, a pathetic sound but it got attention. “Leave Ratch alone. He’s not like that. Chromedome works with him all the time; Evac is just his student and medical assistant. Can you blame him for staying near Ratchet? Those two other rotor bots chase him out of the sky.”

Starscream grimaced. “I am about to shoot them down for good. Vortex and Whirl need to be locked away but that skinny orange mech keeps vouching for them.”

Swerve, Rewind and Starscream blanked for a moment on the mech’s name before Swerve glared. “Rung is smart. If he thinks they need to be out, then they do. Leave him alone.”

Starscream narrowed his eyes and towered over Swerve, who cowered back. “Or what, you’ll talk me to death? Don’t threaten who you can’t kill, bartender.”

Swerve shut up and Starscream took over the recording once again. “Apparently this will need a lot of editing. Anyways, for political news, Optimus Prime has sealed a cargo and trade deal with several countries. The airspace for a large set of miles around Xenogen has been militarily stalked by my Sky Titans, and there has been few rogue Decepticon attacks since outposts have been established.” The seeker paused and thought, smirking a bit. “Ships are allowed through our waters but expect an escort. We assume some human jumped ship to blow the greenhouse up, judging by the primitive tech. Not to mention we think some life boat was a disguised Decepticon rogue. There was an attack on one very kind medic.”

Swerve stomped his foot and growled. “How dare anyone attack First Aid? He just got happy after the war, and now he’s struggling to pull half shifts. I can’t believe Ratchet put that young seeker under his watch.”

Starscream sighed and looked almost guilty. “I asked for Azure to be under his control. I trust First Aid to not upset my seekers. That trine is more like two creators and their sparkling. A lot like Titan and his two seekerlings.”

“I heard the eldest is courting Skywarp.” Rewind put in, and Starscream froze before glaring.

“A trine’s affairs are their own. But yes, more like Skywarp is courting Starshot. But they are both too young to really have anything come of it, yet.”

“Best keep an eye on them.” Swerve snickered. “Don’t want even more seekers to watch over do you, Screamer?” The glare that Starscream sent could kill.

“Oh? And what of you grounders? Prancing around each other, like without your precious supercomputer you couldn’t _possibly_ make a sparkling.” Both minibots tensed. “Oh yes, Rewind, I’ve heard you and your conjunx. No sparklings yet, you both say. If not now, then when?”

Rewind would have looked down if his camera wasn’t needed. “When we’re ready. Unlike you shareware seekers, grounders tend to wait.” A low blow to match low blow. Starscream growled but allowed it.

“Well folks that’s all the time we have for now!” Swerve got directly into the camera, blocking the mechs from glaring at each other. “Tune in next whenever for more gossip and things humans couldn’t care less about!”

The camera went dark, but a last few moments of arguing followed before the audio faded out as well.


End file.
